Do you have a critical inner voice? Our critical inner voice from time to time can cause us to experience nagging thoughts of self- doubt, especially when we decide to push ourselves and try something new. For example: taking on a new challenge, starting a new job, attending to a new task at work or school or asking someone out. While it is normal to have a certain amount of worry when transitioning into something new, for some this internal critical voice can work overtime and is a constant source of criticism and self-doubt. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The\ninner critic as it is often known, can hold you back from fully living your\nlife and reaching your potential. In its essence it is a well-integrated\npattern of destructive thoughts toward yourself and others. It is an\ninternalised dialogue that you can become a slave to, fostering a distrust of\nyour abilities which in turn limits your goals in life. This internal critical\nvoice can affect every aspect of your life from your career, to your mood and\npsychological state of mind, to your attitudes about yourself and others, to\nyour personal relationships and your style of relating to others. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The\ninner critic serves a purpose as it helps us to recognise where we go wrong and\nwhat we need to do to set things right. In a healthy sense it is a caring,\ndiscerning guide. However, for some people the inner critic can be very loud,\nscathing, overbearing and constantly fault finding. Some common voices include\nthoughts like \u201cYour stupid,\u201d \u201cYou\u2019re not attractive,\u201d \u201cYou\u2019re not like other\npeople.\u201d Some people have voices about their career, like \u201cYou\u2019ll never be\nsuccessful,\u201d No-one appreciates how hard you work.\u201d Many people experience\nvoices about their relationships, such as \u201cHe doesn\u2019t really care about you,\u201d\nYour better off on your own,\u201d or \u201cDon\u2019t be vulnerable, you\u2019ll just get hurt.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
These\ninner voices usually come from early life experiences that are internalised and\ntaken in as ways we think about ourselves. Children are completely dependent on\ntheir parents for safety and belonging and therefore will often try to please\ntheir parents. Children absorb everything they see and hear and believe\neverything their parents say, these messages are imprinted on the child and are\nused by the child to figure out who they are. Primarily our internal dialogue\nis shaped by our parents, however as children grow they are also influenced by\nsiblings, grandparents, friends, teachers and other adults. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Many\npeople think if they stop listening to their inner critic they will lose touch\nwith what is right. However, the inner critic is not a trustworthy moral guide.\nOn the contrary, the critical inner voice is degrading and punishing and often\nleads us to make unhealthy decisions. These negative voices tend to increase\nour feelings of self-hatred without motivating us to change undesirable\nqualities or act in a constructive manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In\norder to take power over this destructive thought process you must first become\naware of your inner voice: what is it telling you and how does it speak to you?\nTo identify this, it is helpful to pay attention to when you suddenly slip into\na bad mood or become upset, often these negative shifts in emotion are a result\nof your inner critic playing in the background. Once you identify the thought\nprocess, intensity of the criticism and pinpoint the negative actions it is\nadvocating, you can learn to make friends with your inner critic. The inner\ncritic thinks it is guiding you from feeling vulnerable, however it is\nmisguided and is in fact making you feel insecure and thus more vulnerable. Therefor\nthe antidote to the inner critic is to identify when it is at play, turn the\nvolume down and build your confidence. \u2018Feel the fear and do it anyway\u2019 as\nLouise Hay coined. With time as your confidence in yourself grows and you\ncreate new messages about who you are and your capabilities your inner critic\nwill subside. Learning to be kind to yourself and pushing through negative self-\ntalk is not easy and it takes time. You may even find you need help. If this is\nthe case invest in your future and take some personal growth courses, or spend\nsome time seeing a therapist to understand the origin of your negative self-\ntalk. Recently Neuroscience discovered that a relationship with someone who can\nsupply support and understanding reshapes a person\u2019s neurological\npossibilities. That is, with the right supportive environment, self-acceptance\nand change is possible!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Do you have a critical inner voice? Our critical inner voice from time to time can cause us to experience nagging thoughts of self- doubt, especially when we decide to push ourselves and try something new. For example: taking on a new challenge, starting a new job, attending to a new task at work or…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":126,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[13,11,12,10],"yoast_head":"\n