Lately, in my practice as a Gestalt Psychotherapist I have been hearing a word more often than usual; confusion. While it is normal to feel confused from time to time, prolonged periods of confusion can leave you feeling overwhelmed. This uncertainty of not knowing can often lead people into the quagmire of rumination, self-doubt and a feeling of powerlessness. As you dance around the in-decision you become more anxious, stressed, avoidant and a whole host of other draining and unsettling emotions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Once you are feeling emotionally confused it is not always easy to\nknow what to do with the emotions generated by the confusion. Often, I see\npeople lose confidence in themselves and their ability to understand how they\nfeel and to stand by their feelings. They become\noverwhelmed by their mixed feelings and begin to experience the\npush-pull of conflicting emotions. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Firstly,\nbreathe deeply and slowly this will kick in your parasympathetic nervous system,\nwhich in turn will have a calming effect on your body and mind. More\nimportantly it will stop you from acting rashly. Secondly, spend some time\ntuning into you! Sometimes confusion comes from getting too much advice from\nothers? Allowing ourselves to be influenced by others or for others to make the\ndecision for us can create a disconnect between our mind (thoughts) and our\nbody (feelings). This in turn can create more turmoil. Having said that,\nsometimes getting some sound advice from a trusted friend can alleviate our\nconfusion, providing we are discerning about whether it feels genuinely right\nfor us in our whole body (i.e. our body and mind) <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Tuning into you\nsimply means to take time to develop the skill of finding the words to\ndescribe, name and express how your feeling. It takes practice and patience to\ntune in and you can do it quietly by yourself. Just allow yourself to be\ncurious and kind without pressure to understand how your feeling straight away.\nEmotions can arise in a cluster, all competing for attention. It takes time to\npractice learning to name and discern between feeling states. By staying with\nyour emotions and learning to identify your emotions accurately you will\nincrease your emotional intelligence. That is, you will gain greater\nself-knowledge and understanding of yourself, you will also be able to\ncommunicate and respond to your needs and emotions more effectively. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
All emotions are\nsignals that you should be paying attention to something. Once you begin to\nidentify and label a feeling correctly, you can figure out what it\u2019s trying to\ntell you about your life or your behaviour, then you can take steps to address\nthose messages without feeling so confused!<\/p>\n\n\n\n