Where relationships often go wrong is when the baby arrives.
Where relationships go wrong? Once the baby arrives your relationship changes very suddenly and without warning. Everything feels different, even your partner as you both try and adjust to this new stage in your lives, in your own way. Life changes rapidly and disconnection often arises. It has been reported that 2/3 of couples become dissatisfied with their relationship within 3 years of having a child and dissatisfaction can last for years after that, if not resolved.
(I beg your pardon I never promised you a rose garden)
Where relationships go wrong – Top 10 difficulties and demands on the relationship
- Limited time with each other and for your-self to connect in meaningful ways
- Fatigue and stress
- Raging hormones
- SEX (men want at least a quickie vs women seeing it as another chore and no time or energy for anything more)
- Loss of spontaneity
- Domestic duties
- Increased responsibility and sacrifices, less fun
- Parenting styles
Understanding is key when you become parents, this is when you will find out who your spouse really is! You will experience:
- How they cope under pressure
- How patient and understanding they are
- How reasonable they are
- Whether they are a good listener
- How Responsible they are
- Whether they are good at sacrificing
- Whether they are team player
You will experience all sides of them. Remember to breathe!
This is a new experience for both of you and one that is going to last for a long time and more than likely become more challenging as baby number two, three or even four come along.
Getting to know each other on these new terms will take time and possibly a lot of patience. You will both have to be creative in how you reconnect with each other. It is not going to be like it was before the baby. SEX will change, you will change and your relationship will change.
How to stay connected after baby arrives.
Foreplay (not what you think):
- Be understanding of each other
- Listen to each other
- Appreciate and respect each other’s difference
- Accept it’s not going to be easy
- Be gentle with the others vulnerability
- Help each other
- Choose your battles
- Share and care
- Talk to each other respectfully and honestly
- Don’t take yourselves too seriously
- GET A BABY SITTER!
- Spend time together whenever you can, doing things you enjoy and that are novel. Give space and time for the enjoyment of sex and connection to arise naturally and without pressure.
Grow into your new relationship together, as a team!
If you are struggling in your relationship and need couple counselling contact